I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How external is "for external use only"?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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