I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
