And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The power of my boobs compel you
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
