who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
