Do you still have your period?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
