I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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