it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
