I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
