yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
