We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
lets start a swedish sibling band together
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
