Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
