she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
