nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
