ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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