i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Found your dick twin last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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