First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
