2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
