What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
