Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
