I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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