I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
