First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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