brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So squirting runs in the family.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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