Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
