Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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