I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize