Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
