the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
