my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
