and she was petting her beer can
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
