great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
