Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
