He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
