Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
