"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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