I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize