The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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