i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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