Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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