They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
