it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
