I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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