We're like a lot better than the average bears
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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