I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
