I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
