Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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