I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
