i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's like iHOP with fire
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
