Someone shit on the floor
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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