I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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