Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
