"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
