My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
