god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
