guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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